When should I listen to my thoughts?

 Aha thought: When should I listen to the voice in my head?


I’m sitting in my house wondering - what should I do? I don’t know what to do. This  question seems like one I really need to answer right now. I have some free time and I want to do something but I don’t know what that something is. 


But do I really want to do something? Is that a question I should even be listening to? Is it bringing me forward movement, joy or peace to my life? 


Meanwhile I’m stewing about a situation at work. I have student has not been doing their work for weeks and they are about to do a presentation with their group. He then proceeded to delete the work of another student and pretend it was his own.  


But I know I really don’t want to spend my free time stewing about this situation. I called the parent. I restored the presentation. It really isn’t a big deal worth my attention during this afternoon of freedom. 


What should I do? I want to do something. 


The thoughts just keep on coming. It sounded like this in my brain. I don’t know what to do. I know I should clean. I don’t want to clean. I don’t know what to do. Why am I so lazy. I should just make myself put away the towels. I don’t want to. I could play the piano. Nah that doesn’t sound like fun. Nothing sounds like fun. That kid is such a pain. Why am I thinking about the kid. I shouldn’t let him ruin my day. He isn’t thinking about his work, why am I thinking about it. Ok I’m letting go. 


Anyway, I decided to try the ten minute solution.    


 I got my counter, laid down on the ground, and managed to click up 39 thoughts in 10 minutes. Looks like I have a busy mind. I’m thinking of a new thought basically once every 15 seconds. Wow. 


Most of the thoughts were just mundane. But there were a few that felt different. I felt a bit of energy or lightness when I thought them. I didn’t need to ask if they were “good” I could feel that they were ideas worth listening to. 


No they were not big. But they were thoughts that answered my original idea of - how do I want to spend this afternoon of freedom? 


Here were a few of the thoughts that had more potential for me: I could do a new exercise routine that I bought an exercise band for. That sounds like fun. Click. 


A few minutes later I thought,  I could work on the bills and all the checks that need to be deposited. I could even do that with the kids. Even better. 


But since these ideas are happening during my ten minute worry solution - click, let it go. Click, let it go. A few I got on board with and found my mind running away with and then I would realize it and go click - nice work. 


When I got up, I knew that what I wanted to do was write. That wasn’t really an idea I had prior to my break and also wasn’t the idea I had during the meditation. But I thought- why not. I can do anything for ten minutes. And so, even though I had let go of 39 thoughts in ten minutes, I decided to hold onto this thought and sit down.


Sometimes there is a lightness to thoughts that are positive and good for me and so I do try and listen to those thoughts. I’m off to try my new exercise bands! Now that's a thought worth listening to.


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